George of the Jungle

“We have to make room in our stories for the world as we find it.”

John Green

So today is May 1st, May Day. In my adopted city, this means that for reasons unknown to anyone sane everyone wakes up at a stupid hour of the morning to listen to some people singing in the dawn. (This is, it occurs to me, essentially the definition of tradition.) And in some temporary fit of madness I and some of the University Gang decided that it would be a good idea to stay up all night.

This is how we ended up watching George of the Jungle, a truly terrible piece of slapstick comedy which supposedly parodies Tarzan but is, in fact, the reason why I eventually lost the will to live and went to bed.

I think I’m just going to make a List.

Ten Reasons Why George of the Jungle  Is A Terrible Film

  1. Lions do not live in jungles. Nor do elephants.
  2. John Cleese is wasted as the Ape.
  3. The whole accidentally-swinging-into-a-tree-trunk thing is only remotely funny once. After that, it’s just stupid.
  4. And anyone who hits a tree trunk that hard that often should be dead.
  5. There’s a poacher with a truly terrible English accent. Why are the villains in American films always English?
  6. The actors are apparently of the school of thought that it serves the purposes of parody to act like amateurs. They are wrong.
  7. Why does George refer to himself in the third person when the Ape speaks perfectly good English?
  8. It features dressed-up monkeys. I object to this on principle.
  9. Ursula’s mother’s disapproval of George conveniently vanishes when the writers decide it is time for a happy ending.
  10. All the shouting is just unnecessary.
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