The Apprentice: Flat Pack

“A camel is a horse designed by committee.”

The Apprentice

Catching up slowly with recent episodes of The Apprentice, today’s post is about episode 3, the always-amusing design task. This year, the unfortunate candidates must design a piece of flat-pack furniture to be retailed for £75. Let the hilarity begin.

Team Endeavour actually came up with a fairly useful piece of furniture, a contraption called the “Foldo” which is a chair and a table at the same time. On the other hand, Team Evolve thought outside the box and came up with…well, a box on wheels. Oh, and there was a lid. Mustn’t forget the lid.

Unsurprisingly, Team Evolve lost, despite their desperate attempts to pitch the hideous monstrosity they had inadvertently created as “industrial” and “urban”. Cue shots of Team Endeavour being unnecessarily nasty about the other team while climbing the O2 Arena (which apparently can be done). That is, I think, the worst thing about The Apprentice: the unremitting, low-level nastiness of all the candidates. But then, I suppose I can’t complain. This is, after all, the corporate version of the Hunger Games.

(I warned you I would quote it at every available opportunity.)

In the boardroom, Sophie (I don’t have the energy to think up a nickname at the moment) thought that listing things she’s not good at would be a good tactic. “I don’t sell, I don’t manufacture, I don’t pitch, I don’t design,” she said. Er…is there anything else that people do on The Apprentice? No, no there is not. So it was less than a surprise when Sophie was fired, since she’d basically just admitted that she would be the worst possible candidate.

I’m actually getting quite bored of this series, despite the continued presence of Lord Vetinari Jason. (“Not you, Jordan! Someone average-sized!” was this episode’s howler.) It’s hard to bring yourself to care when each candidate is about as sympathetic as the Dark Lord Sauron and when Lord Sugar is as dictatorial as, I don’t know, a very dictatorial person. The Emperor Dalek, perhaps.

(That’s quite an amusing image, now I think about it. If Lord Sugar were a Dalek…)

Well, anyway. Next episode: the teams set up a farm shop and try to sell “organic” food unsuspecting Londoners. Such fun.

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